Hey, It Happens.

Sometimes he gets the friends in the divorce or breakup. Sometimes you get them. Either way, it won’t be long before you realize that a deep cleaning may be in order. So regardless of which way the winds of change blow, know this … things generally shake out as they should be.

One For Me, One For You

If Backstabbing Barbie crosses over to his team, grab your pom poms and celebrate. Now you know who she really is. If Loser Larry stays stays all huddled up down at the line of scrimmage with Runaway Romeo Cheater Pants, high-five everyone around you with all your might. You now know who he really is. You can bet that this is probably not the first time Larry’s done a little goal line defense on behalf of  the Dearly Departed if you know what I mean. (wink wink).

Also, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that battle lines are as they look to be  immediately following the breakup. You really need to step back and wait for the dust to settle.

Late Effects

For example, once Mr. Runaway Cheater Pants gets all cozied up to Affair Partner and things begin to settle down, you’re likely to see a number of defections. This is more likely to occur if he/she marries the new squeeze, and/or if the Sleazy Squeezy happens to have money.

Also, prepare yourself for the inevitable. Once a new lease has been signed and/or the two rapacious lovers marry/set up some sort of housekeeping together then—poof!—they magically become legitimized in the eyes of all but your most staunch allies.

Dinner Is Served

This will be about the time when your former friends who have crossed over to the dark side hand you the bucket of excrement and a spoon and encourage you to dig in. Not only do former critics flip on a dime, but they begin encouraging you ‘take the high road’.

They pompously lecture that you need to overlook the obvious stench because—now that the The Devil has now married Satan’s Mistress—gulping down a little excrement here and there is not really that much to ask, now is it? They follow up with things like “Come on … don’t you think you should stop with the sour grapes and be a little more forgiving?” [You: Without so much as an apology? Um … no.]

What you need to do is jump straight up while giving a very hard yank to the bib they’re trying so hard to tie around your neck. Then once you’re free of that, you need to hit the block button/delete option on said ‘friend’s’ name on all your social media accounts.

Playing Kissy Face

Hey, if they’re so enamored with the two cheaters, why not give them the bucket and let them have a little desert for themselves. Step away and give them space. Let ’em all enjoy their precious little love fest. Why not? They’re all card-carrying members of the same mutual admiration society.

From that point forward, those people and their opinions are on permanent mute.

Final Order Of Business

Finally, now that you know who you true friends are, call them up, invite them all over, give a shout out to Miss Martha. Martha Reeves. Tell her to bring her friends. Then start dancing …

Dancing in the streets.

Please share this post if you know someone going through a bad breakup. Leave me a comment if you’ve found this to be true or if you’ve had similar experiences.